I've come to the conclusion that I just need to ignore the part where textbooks predict what's going on in my head. They're always wrong about that part, almost without exception.
And that part, where I expect to recognize something traumatizing by my emotional reaction at the time, is the main reason I've never called 2001 traumatizing.
That's not how the brain works. Looking at how I was before and after--it helps to think in terms of certain characters, which is actually how I came to this conclusion--any psychologist would conclude that 2001 consisted of at least 300 days of trauma, and to hell with what I claimed about how I felt at the time.
Death, reeducation camps, failing at probably the most important big damn hero opportunity I ever had (with lots of other people suffering for it to this day), and let's throw in 9/11 and wars and political conspiracy theories and the backdrop of seventh/eighth grade, just to completely shatter my ability to trust anyone ever, including myself.
I suspect there's some search results anchored to the end of all that which have a lot to do with why I am nowhere near as awesome as you would have predicted had you seen me in 2001. Now to figure out how to correct this. ... By researching SEO and trying to apply it to my brain. ... *Shrug*
